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Wednesday, October 26, 2016

T. Harv Eker - Why Accepting Yourself As You Are Is One Of The Biggest Secrets To Happiness

When someone believes they’re not enough, a really good analogy for that is like putting legs on a snake. The snake is naturally a snake. It’s built to be what it is and do what it does, and it’s very good at moving around without legs.

What if you didn’t have to add anything to yourself? I’m certainly not talking about adding stuff like knowledge, which can be useful, or even material things. If you’ve always wanted a certain sports car for whatever reason, go for it!

But if you need that car in order to feel a certain way–rich, accomplished, successful, attractive, etc., then we’re talking about an add-on that doesn’t change a freakin thing. If you didn’t feel good enough about yourself before, a car or houses or money or even better looks won’t change that either now. This idea of adding on in order to feel or appear better just doesn’t work in the long-term.

There must be an inherent belief for you to feel like you need to add something to yourself in order to (fill-in-the-blank).

Whatever it is we’re talking about, we’d have to believe that what we’re adding to is not enough. There’s some real or perceived lack.

You might think, “Oh, Harv, that’s ridiculous, because if I didn’t try to add on to myself, then I wouldn’t be getting any better.”

The problem there is that we’ve been taught in our society that we’ve got to be better. Really? What is it that’s wrong with us that we need to be better?

Sure, it could be we want to have a stronger character, to be more reliable or dependable. There could be things that we want, thinking that if we’re better, then we’ll get more of those things.

I’m not saying that it’s not good to try to make yourself better, or that it’s not good to try and learn more and earn more.

It becomes a problem, though, when you’re not allowing yourself to experience the beauty of now–your beauty right now–because you’re so focused on “improvement” that you never feel accepted and good enough right now in this moment.

Practice accepting yourself as you are. If you’re a snake, enjoy being a snake. If you’re an alligator, and you’ve got scales and tough skin, enjoy being an alligator. If you’re a marshmallow, enjoy being a marshmallow. Look at the goodness in that first.

You have to accept what is. You have to accept who you are and make all the parts of you the gifts that they are, and then you can decide if you want to add anything else to your life, but without negating the first part, which is what we tend to do.

For your homework this week, I want you to write down one negative quality, supposedly, and something that’s not enough for you. Now that you’re enlightened, you’re not going to look at it as a negative.

Then you’re going to write down all the things that are positives and that can be useful around that quality.

If we’re a certain way, we’re going to be that way…and that’s okay.

You’re not going to make wholesale changes, anyway. You think you will, but you won’t. You might say, “Tomorrow I’m going to be like this.” Time has a way of pulling you back, because you’re not supposed to be anything other than who you are right now.

Accepting who you are now will allow you to look at things in a new light, then you can add, but you’re adding from a positive lens, kind of like “Okay, what can be even MORE awesome?” vs. “What do I need to do to make up for that deficiency?” See the difference?

You can go from light to brighter light instead of from darkness to trying to put some light into the darkness but you’re still kind of dingy.

This is who we are. You don’t need to be anything more than you already are right now. The goal never was and never is perfection, but we do need to lean toward the light.

What’s your story? Do you have any experiences with the teaching above? We want to hear from you!

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